I find myself listening to girls who say they sum themselves up by the mistakes they’ve made; I listen to girls who tell me that they’ll never be wanted because they’ll never be seen as anything but dirty and wasted; I listen to girls who lower their standards because they’ve convinced themselves that they’ll never be good enough to be loved by a man who loves God.
And I’ve listened to those same words inside of my own head.
I’ve sat in church buildings and read words printed up on a screen for everyone to see–words that the preacher man says are what the God of the universe has to say about us–and I always seem to find a way to pin my own list of words that I use for myself up against them, championing lies I’ve believed over promises I’ve been told.
This is for the heart that tells itself its own list of so-called-truths about itself and what it deserves;
this is for the heart that is too afraid to tell the truth because confession and pats on the back rarely every go hand-in-hand;
this is for the heart that sets its aim low, convinced that it deserves heart ache and everything short of true-love with a man who loves Jesus because it can’t be entirely whole for him;
this is for the heart that can’t sleep at night because it’s too busy calling itself a liar and a coward and unforgiven and undesirable and dirty;
this is for the heart that has dubbed itself “unworthy” when it comes to having a light-filled future–
You are not alone.
And that’s how I know that we are living in and believing in lies.
Lies keep us up at night.
Lies hold us back.
Lies put us in a box and say, “You can’t because you did this.”
We are not meant for the kind of life spent easily living in mistakes and struggling to live in promises.
We are meant to read the words God says about us, and that bring us to our knees in gratefulness rather than have our fists flying saying, “No, you’re wrong about me.”
Because He isn’t wrong about you.
And that’s what we should be telling ourselves every night.
You deserve good things.
Even if you have to remind yourself of that truth, daily.